Coping with Stresses
Are you dealing with challenges in your daily life such as addictive behavior (i.e., porn or alcohol) or conflict in your marriage? Coping with these stresses can be done effectively by seeking strategy from Sun Tzu, experience from counseling, knowledge from research, and wisdom from the Bible. Put this information together and you’ll have an approach that will carry you to victory.
Strategy from Warfare
Sun Tzu wrote in The Art of War, “Those who are first on the battlefield and await the opponent are at ease; those who are last on the battlefield and head into battle get worn out (Sun Tzu 1988, 100).” Think of your temptations or problems as the opponent, and you can see the utility of this strategic move. Be there first. Be prepared in advance. Be rested. Be ready to outlast your opponent—the temptation, the stress, or the problem.
Experience from Counseling
In counseling with men on addictions, clients have consistently reported it is more effective to be proactive than reactive. Don’t be manipulated by your triggers. Instead, cope by proactively managing them. If you know having idle time today will bring on your problems, plan to fill the time with meaningful activity. If your plan involves someone else, call them and commit to connecting. You will be that much more protected. This puts you on the battlefield first—rested and ready.
Knowledge from Research
Moos’s research on coping responses showed approach coping styles (i.e., proactive coping) to be more effective than avoidant coping styles (Moos 1993, 2). An overall approach style of coping includes logical analysis to be prepared, positive reappraisal to restructure challenges, seeking guidance and support, and problem solving to deal directly with issues. This is like the general who understands the terrain, adjusts to local conditions, seeks input from his trusted advisors, and takes the initiative to deal with the problem at hand. I would have confidence in that general’s chances of winning.
Wisdom from the Bible
Then we turn to the Bible for ultimate wisdom. Ephesians 6:13 says, “Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand (NKJV).” If we prepare in advance with the gift of armor God provides, we will stand through the day of battle. And Proverbs 21:31 says, “The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but deliverance is of the Lord (NKJV).” This doubles down on the idea of preparation before a fight. The key difference we see in the Bible is that God is at the center. It is through His gifts and His deliverance we stand and have the victory.
What is the whole armor of God? Ephesians 6:14-17 says, “Stand therefore, having girded your waist with the truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God (NKJV).” In short, the armor of God is truth, righteousness, the gospel of peace, faith, salvation, and the Spirit (God’s word). Always aim at growing in these things. Always be in prayer (Ephesians 6:18). You will stand in the armor of God.
Conclusion for Victory
All of these sources bear out the truth of God’s word. Sun Tzu could see it on the battlefield. My counseling clients can see it in their daily struggles. Researchers can see it when they study the issues. The Bible declares it definitively. If you approach life rested, take the initiative and arrive early, understand your situation, prepare by putting on God’s armor, advance by solving problems, and depend upon God’s deliverance, you will have the victory you seek.
By Jason Pretzel, LPC
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- Sun Tzu, The Art of War translated by Thomas Cleary (Boston, Massachusetts: Shambhala Publications, Inc., 1988).
- Rudolf H. Moos, Coping Responses Inventory (Lutz, Florida: Psychological Assessment Resources, Inc., 1993).
