Battle like everything’s at stake. If you win, you gain freedom and abundant life. If not, you spend years trapped against the ropes like a prizefighter. But there is good news: wisdom from the Bible combined with learning from research, experience from counseling, and strategy from a master tactician can help you attain freedom.
Research Confirms the Damage Done by Porn
A recent review of the literature (Privara & Bob 2023) identified numerous effects of porn. The damage included: depression, anxiety, substance abuse, poor self acceptance, low sexual well-being, insecurity, moral conflicts, helplessness, frustration, body dissatisfaction, breast operations in women, labiaplasty in women, penis surgery in men, self-loathing, and lack of self-forgiveness. They also warned that in the next ten to thirty years we may see more severe impacts on depression, anxiety, and even suicidal tendencies. These effects leave the porn user trapped against the ropes. Not only that, but another study (Perry & Schleifer 2018) found when porn use started during the course of marriage, the probability of divorce doubled. This shows the destructive impact porn can have on one’s spouse.
The Bible Inspires us to an Abundant Life Ahead
While the Bible also details the damage caused by sexual sin, here we will focus on the abundant life it also describes. Proverbs 5:18-19 says, “Let your fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.” This clearly indicates the type of relationship men should pursue with their wives. The verses have strong words. Intimacy is to be blessed. They share love and rejoicing. He sees her gracefulness. He is satisfied by her breasts. And is always enraptured with her love—which means to be transported with pleasure (Webster, 2002, ‘enraptured’). This describes a beautiful, intimate relationship that can take place when we are free from porn.
The Art of War Prepares us for Battle
Sun Tzu was a master of strategy, facing stakes of life and death. I want to introduce three of his principles. First, in The Art of War (Sun Tzu 1988, 91) he stated, “the victorious army first wins and then seeks battle; a defeated army first battles and then seeks victory.” In order for this to be true, you have to understand your situation and manage conditions in your favor. Second, he expounded (Sun Tzu 1988, 90) on this when he said, “good warriors take their stand on ground where they cannot lose, and do not overlook conditions that make an opponent prone to defeat.” This means identifying what the advantageous ground is and putting yourself on it. And third, you can best fight this battle knowing “the form of a military force is to avoid the full [strong] and attack the empty [weak] (Sun Tzu 1988, 112).” Building upon strengths and managing weaknesses will help you effectively fight upon ground where you cannot lose. Now you have to apply these general principals in your life in a specific way. This is where having counsel can help.
Counseling Helps Along the Way
In my upcoming book I help men gain victory over pornography by tapping all available resources. We delve into wisdom of the Bible, examine learning from research in psychology, benefit from battlefield strategy, lean on my 30 years of experience in behavioral health, and are grounded by the experiences of my clients who have agreed to share for everyone’s benefit. I’m excited to give you the answers I found while helping these men along their way. We will make it available at the first possible moment. Eight waypoints will help you win this fight and have your freedom. You’ll get off the ropes and win the golden belt of the champion. Be encouraged! Sign up for my newsletter and you will be the first to know when my book is released.
By Jason Pretzel, LPC
Keep up with my blogs – I will be sharing helpful information while we wait for the release of my new book. Subscribe to my email list below and follow me on X (JasonPretzel@jasonpretzel).
- Privara, M.; & Bob, P (2023). “Pornography consumption and cognitive-affective distress.” The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 211(8), August 2023, 641-646. https://doi.org/10.1097/NMD.0000000000001657
- Perry, S. L., & Schleifer, C. (2018). Till porn do us part? A longitudinal examination of pornography use and divorce.” The Journal of Sex Research, 55(3), 284-296. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2017.1317709
- Webster, N. (2002). American Dictionary of the English Language (1828 ed.). San Francisco, CA: Foundation for American Christian Education.
- Sun Tzu (1988). The art of war (T. Cleary trans) Boston, MA: Shambhala Publications.
Start these steps today. Subscribe to my newsletter (below). You can contact me by way of email (jasonpretzel@jasonpretzel.com), or let us know the positive changes you make in your life in the comments section on YouTube, X (@JasonPretzel), or Facebook (Jason Pretzel). Please make comments, send questions, or request subjects for me to tackle in future entries.
